A time to be challenged

I used to be scared of being challenged by other Christians, but that was most likely due to my feelings of inadequacies to take up those challenges and face them or perhaps it was me simply not taking the time to think about what to do with those challenges. I'm slowly learning to take those challenges and face them even if they're out of my comfort zone.

Back in easter, one of my pastor's came up to to me and started asking me about how I was doing, but most importantly she wanted to know about my faith and if I was attending at fellowship in toronto. I truthfully told her that back in university I had a fellowship and a great fellowship of believers, but I knew that I was lacking in terms of finding a fellowship of brothers and sisters back home in toronto. I explained to her that I found it difficult to relate to other ppl in Lifestone fellowship due to a vast difference in age, since there isn't really a university fellowship at our church. She understood my view, but asked me to just try out the fellowship since I would be back home for the summer, AND she mentioned that above all despite a difference in age once you start praying for others and getting to know them, the fellowshiping will nuture. Yet, I still struggled with the 'comfort zone' issue and put the issue aside for another month.

then. sunday night bible study came around. What Roger talked about sounded eerily similar to what Pastor Christine talked to me about. Comfort zones, having a fellowship of believers to support you is crucial not only for you but to be able to reach out to others.

So, with that, and thinking about it all week, it just so happened that there was a praise and prayer tonight. All the way to church, I kept wanting to drive back home..not wanting to go, but I knew that I had to get out of my comfort zone & at least try. Thinking back upon it now, I'm glad I went tonight. At some points I did feel out of place, but people were welcoming and not everyone was a stranger. I remember nearing the end of the evening while we were singing Be the Centre I was hit with a sudden case of nostalgia..longing for the comfort of fellowship that I had at western.

But as I looked around the room, at all these people being so in love with God & having this desire to grow more, I knew that I would have been foolish to not come & fellowship with this brothers and sisters. I know I might just continue to have comfort zone problems..but it seems worth it in the end. :)

almost there

My last exam of 3rd year is in 3 hours, another 24 hours before I get back home to toronto, and almost 30 hours before I see my coffeegurls! ah...let the countdown begin. It's soo hard to concentrate...I already took a nap for 2 hours :) yup, right before my last exam. Got up just in time to to doing a quick review of my notes & then I head out to finish off 3rd year with Health policy.

just another friday

In terms of studying for today, it didn't go down so well since I ended up waking up at 12...then had to nap again from 2-3 since I wasn't feeling well. The only real accomplishment of the day appears to be meeting up with becky for coffee at 2nd cup :) had a nice hot cup of mochachinno & one healthy cookie (oatmeal & raisin)..which actually turned out to be rather sweet due to the raisins. Also bought a bunch of random stuff at zellars such as an apricot facial scrub. hehe, it's actually really good at exfoliating! Makes your skin feel nice & soft as well. :)

Cry in my heart

All week, this song has found a place in my heart. I've been leaving it on repeat on my itunes most days, and for some reason the words speak for me, in a way, about what I've been feeling these past couple of days. If you ever have the chance listen to it. It's by Starfield

There's a cry in my heart
For Your glory to fall
For Your presence to fill up my senses
There's a yearning again
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper

Could You take me beyond?
Could You carry me through?
If I open my heart?
Could I go there with You?
(For I've been here before
But I know there's still more
Oh, Lord, I need to know You)

For what do I have
If I don't have You, Jesus?
What in this life
Could mean any more?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter
Of my head
Lifter of this head

I am accident prone

I had my first exam today, and after studying for almost a week for it I'm glad the exam wasn't too hard. There were some iffy ones though, but the majority of the questions were quite good.

So, lets see today, I nearly killed myself twice. Everyone was out doing their various things, and I was home alone studying before my exam. I remember standing at the top of the stairs, taking a step..and the next thing I knew I slipped onto my back and fell down half of the stairs. I was soo shocked, I nearly couldn't grab hold of the banister.... well, good thing I did or else ...

2nd time: was baking cookies...so I was mixing and opening cupboards, and left one of them open. I ended up walking right into one of them & hurting my head quite badly. so now..I have bruises on my head and the rest of my body. *sigh* and the sad thing is..I haven't been this accident-prone for a good half a year or so. Well, time to go nurse my sores & study some more.

random note of the day

I almost fainted in boxfit today! Imagine that..fainting in boxfit! It was soo hot in the gym today, so when I went to take a drink of water from my nalgene, I must've let my head go lower than my heart..and well, when I stood back up..all I could see were black spots closing in. so..I started shaking my head and trying so hard not to faint. thankgoodness I didn't! :)

pleasant surprise of the day: asked for a medium icecap at timmies, paid for a medium, but didn't realize I was drinking a large until I got home.

Cora's b-day and dessert @ Maggies. I can't believe the week has gone by soo fast and in 2 days I'll have my first exam. It was just last friday that we had our last acf banquet, then small group lunch with pita pizzas, P&R bible study on sunday...and the rest of the week felt like cora's b-day week. As of wed, I think we've eaten at least 4 of cora's b-day cakes :P Unfortunately, her surprise didn't go so well, but that's okay since she was still very pleasantly surprised about her beautiful room.

a burdened heart

There have been times these past couple of days where these thoughts in my head are ready to explode and I just want to give up..on everything, and everyone.. Yet, i'm reminded about what Roger said a couple of weeks back about how there is no greater blessing than for God to take hold of your heart and get rid of everything that you have relied upon and just fill it with His love . The goal of life is God himself. Nothing else but God alone. I am not mine, but His.
and so, I continually remind myself of this everyday.

easter weekend recap

I can't believe that the week has flown by so fast! It feels like just yesterday when I went back for easter, and had the long awaited sleepover with my coffeegurls. I heart my coffeegurls. We watched mean girls again, and I, the forgetful one..kept forgetting how the movie went and kept gasping at everything. hehe., It makes the movie a lot more enjoyable the second time around :) ooh and must not forget the the v-day gifts from our secret valentine. Talk about chocolate galore!!

Drove back home with doreen on the sunday, and had some really good conversations on the way back to good old london. :) ...gave myself an extra-extra long easter break since I couldn't get up the next morning. So, this week has just flown by with everything coming to its end. Hip hop, acf (2nd last acf last night), and soon before we know it 3rd year will be over!

Highlight of this week: 3 hour conversations over bbt with sam & becky. (bbt take 2..coming soon!)